And it took centuries for me to trust you again.
But, I did. Remember the night, many years later, the night when I lost the one I love and you just couldn't be here? All you could think of was how this inconvenienced your plans. All you could think of was your vacation. Acquaintances, strangers, even enemies felt empathy, offered a shoulder to lean on. But you, you, the one who promised to be there in good and evil at the sight of this one undeniable loss, you were not here. And those semi strangers held my hand and helped me get through it and you were angry because you knew you should have been here. Only you couldn't because here passes quickly and it becomes a scar. And yes, you were there next day, but you were not here.
And it took decades to trust you again.
But, I did. Remember the night my life fell apart and I rushed before the cars and to the tops of the buildings to fly? And you, you were not here. You were too busy healing your own insecurities, too busy to save my life. Luckily, some new people were here. They led me through the night. They held me and stopped me from rushing before the cars and flying from the building tops. They showed me stars above and offered hope. And, yes you were there the next day, but you were not here.
And it took years to trust you again.
But, I did. Remember the night I lost everything I had? And you, you were not here. It was the night when my house of cards was set ablaze and I stood there watching it burn. And I felt helpless and foreign in the land where there are no familial ties supposed to save you when all goes wrong. So I stood watching the lights of the city that warms me knowing that only a few blocks away you are drinking your incompetencies away. Again, those less known, those who have not penetrated my existence the way you did were there. They spoke softly of salvation. They spoke gently of better life to be built in the ashes of this one. They helped me get through this while you penetrated the existences of other cheap whores indulging in the copulation infused with vomit. And yes, you offered to be there the next day but here passes quickly and ... you, you were not here.
And it may be months before I trust you again, only I fear when clock strikes the right hour and shadows do their dance of death ... I fear when all lines up and the devil comes for his own ... I won't be here to greet him and snatch you away from his poisonous pangs, because here, here passes quickly.
*the Bich has spoken*
I am producing Lust Fest (April 12-May 5) with many exciting people... Thursdays (4/12, 4/19. 4/26, 5/3) will see Keri Seymour's and Tekla Vessie's production of George F. Walker's Problem Child.
Fridays (4/13, 4/20. 4/27) and Wednesay (5/2) will see Raven Melissa's Love Spell.
Friday 5/4 is designated for Rivers of Honey, women and transfolk of color cabaret
Saturdays are Cabaret nights as follows:
4/14 & 5/5 HyperGender Cabaret - a new burlesque show conceived and about to be birthed by JzBich and AgentN (who said two girls can't have a baby)
4/21 JZBich and Ashley are bringing a Variety show that will involve poetry, dance, music ...
4/28 Anti Social and JzBich bring to you Balkarican productions ... a night of politically charged video and live performances
But before I even get to April I will be go going at the 3 year anniversary party for Snapshot - girls, booze and me half naked - what more can one ask for?
OK .. so I am excited and wanted to share it with you ... gotta run to work - look for more info on this site :D
smart ass statement of the week from JZ:
if you eat tons of "foreign" (or any) cuisine it doesn't make you more multicultural, it makes you... hm... overweight
nothing wrong with that, being overweight, large is beautiful, and so is small and so ... but I am always puzzled why people go for food first when they want to express their openness... almost never am I asked "talk to me about poetry in your country" or "what is the architecture like" but oh, so many times, I am asked "what kind of food do you have?"
so, I am curious... why is food so important?
Also,
why do people still use term "ethnic" to describe "all who are not very pale"? People don't refer to English as ethnic even though if someone says they are English it denotes their ethnicity, no? And even though, when pushed to it one would agree German restaurant is equally ethnic as Indian, when one goes for some "ethnic" food, they rarely think of German, or French, or Italian... usually this term is used to refer to non-Western, no?
Because, white, western, dominant is not ethnic - it is neutral? But we all know by now it is not so, then why use the terminology that perpetuates the old prejudices? If you say you enjoy ethnic food - you are suggesting that somehow there is ethnic and non ethnic food, and non ethnic would be ....?
Another argument against the use of the term ethnic when referring to food - it lumps many different groups of people in some sort of unified category, those who are "others."
Now, all this is common sense to many and it is easy to find far more sophisticated arguments against the use of the term "ethnic" and I suggest to those unconvinced by my critique to look into how labeling relates to furthering of the stereotypes and how the language we use reflects our believes.
more to come...
